You’re Gonna Stay Forever in This Journey
We named it a short introduction, through digital platform that we believe enough on each other till meet in person is the main goal.
The first time we blink our eyes to each other was when you picked me up -afternoon time- and I just can’t help myself that I admire your eyes. So do your laugh.
As you rode your bike throughout South Jakarta, I slowly open myself to you. Carefully spoke, as this was the first time we bumped into each other. We were slide into main part of South Jakarta, as we slowly slide into each other personality.
We agreed to order this 2 cups of caffeine, to ease this hot weather. 4 hours straight we opened layer by layer of our self. As I slowly understood, I became the listener than the speaker, for you. We shared the same laugh that I never thought I could enjoy it.
I was fallen for the fact that this is the end of our journey. The journey of you and I. As I went off from your bike, I was staring at you, making sure you had something to say about this noon conversation. For 2 minutes straight, you said no word and no stare back at me. Thanks to you, this become the moment of my turning point to making sure to myself that you are not into this journey, again. I can’t do anything to hold you, because you deserve the freedom and choices that you had as a person. So do I. We deserve the freedom and choices to be with someone whose into the same road.
“Terima kasih ya udah ditebengin. Hati-hati pulangnya” became the last and also the most sincere word I have said to you. “Yo, sama-sama” you said. Then I turned my way back to the stairs to went home. The 5th stairs (yes I counted it), I still not hearing any noise from your bike. I looked back, and there you are, staring at me with no gesture needed. I could have ran back to you and probably begging you to stay, in that moment. But I choose to smile and continued to step on the rest of the stairs.
No, I was not okay. I was not letting you go. Yes, I cry a lot. Yes, I questioning a lot of questions. Yes, I blame myself. Yes, I blame you. It was a storm. I could have said a long paragraph to explained and asked the thoughts that you currently doubted it, probably about me. I could have send a “hi what’s wrong?” text or a simple phone call to you. But I choose to remain silent.
I adapted this title from John Mayer’s song. Yes, You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me. I choose to change the title, because I believe there will be someone that will stay forever in me, except you. But, you’re gonna stay forever in this journey. The journey that we choose to stop. The journey that we choose to abandoned. You with everything you said to me. You with everything you gave me. And you with everything you write for me.
